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Hard On Myself

from Glossolalia by Jordan Klassen

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about

This tune is about living life the 'third way'. Our world is pretty polarized and binary, and i've heard it said that whenever someone offers you two options to always choose the third. I was raised with a certain amount of religious rigidity that I think has made a lasting effect on me, and I've moved away from that. Pat answers, certainty as king, black and white polarities. On the other hand my current context is incredibly morally relative - always emphasizing strangeness and deconstruction. Both of these paths feel very sad to me and this song is about me not choosing either of them.

lyrics

Words to recite
I awake before light
I’ve been trying to change how I see
Out on the lawn
That old crow greets the dawn
He’s squawking some dark blasphemy

Dreamt of a room where my ancestors loom
They’re lashing their Bibles and belts
And mapping a line that leads straight to my mind
Where i’ve been so hard on myself

I’m trying my best to remember
The nights we went walking in Rome
And warm were the winds as the ships floated in
And I wasn’t searching for home

Rose took a loss and the weight lifted off
She’s breathing in air made of gold
Selling her wares in the west market square
Just chatter and trinkets of old

Left ‘em behind
Every spirit defined
Ideas that dare make themselves clear
Cut off the ties like an old fishing line
That got tangled in brambles of fear

I’ve heard that to wonder is water
And certainty dries up the spring
But love is a claim and if it’s all the same
Well I’d like to know a few things

There are two roads where I’m standing
And each one has called itself good
But there’s light in the sky and I’ve got some supplies
I just might make my way through the woods

credits

from Glossolalia, released April 8, 2022

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Jordan Klassen Vancouver, British Columbia

Fairy-folk for troubled times from Vancouver, British Columbia.

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